Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
