True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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