So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
