i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
