i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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