Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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