I hate your face
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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