i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
