You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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