The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
