I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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