You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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