Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
