I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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