Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
