Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
