it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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