i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
