the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What drink are we having for lunch?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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