I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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