Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
