I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's never too late to be topless.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
