i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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