I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
