i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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