I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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