lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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