And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
