Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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