tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
