I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
