Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All the doctor said was why
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
