So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
