theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
