Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
