I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize