Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
