This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
