Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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