ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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