awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
