she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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