Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
