And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
PANTIES FOUND
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