Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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