if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
