Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
