forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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