he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
