I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize