I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
