At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's always time for handjobs
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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