Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
