Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
