I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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