My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
