I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude. I can hear the air.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
