Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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