ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
