you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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