Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mom said you looked used
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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