It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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