what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize