I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
