More tranny stories later!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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