I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
