Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
